BUZZ’S BIG GAY DANCE PARTY

Last Friday, I saw more neon lights, heard more techno beats, and saw more butts than I had in the last year or two or three years combined, probably.

Here I stood at the entrance of Buzz’s Big Gay Dance Party – an institution at PorcFest – the last ever! It was a lot to take in.

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Let me break this down into simpler terms.

Buzz. Buzz was out in the field all day with some volunteers, sawing and drilling and hanging signs. She has a crew cut, bleached blonde, and has been seen riding a bicycle around PorcFest with a tank top, camo-shorts, and a power drill. We we were discussing earlier why this might be the last ever dance party, and the obvious reason? It’s a lot of work! Buzz was accepting donations for the party this year, with the perk of getting a download code for the playlist. Hopefully next year, she can enjoy the damned week, instead of work the entire time.

Big. This is the “event” of PorcFest that draws the most attention. Last year, I met more people the night of the party than I did in the entire week. The rest of the campground is a big, silent, black mass of tents and shady dudes who are way too enthusiastic when they ask me if there are “smokes” down by the party. Yeah man, by the way, you’re clearly some sort of fed, so good luck getting any.

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Gay. Oh, this is easy. Infamous Free Stater Derrick J Freeman in pink bikinis. Balloon hats. Balloon body parts of inappropriate stature… T.S.Gay Agents – and when you get his attention, he pulls on a glove and winks. Rob Mathias from the Rebel Love Show and his two girlfriends all wearing matching gold spandex and causing all sorts of ruckus.

Dance Party. Here is the night to express your freedom. Tonight is the night that the anarchist city turns into the libertarian paradise. It is the big laugh at the state, completely unashamed of anything that happens for anyone to see. This field at Roger’s Campground was the most free place in the entire world that night.

I’ve been dancing for, like, three days since, and I can’t stop. Liberty is a playlist that won’t end.

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Plenty of people outside of the tent didn’t want to go in, or just wanted to peek. I went into the deep end. I turned my camera on and danced around the room and had a great time! Sure, there was a lot of that grinding and bumpy-bump stuff that people do, but there was lots of clean dancing, too. Even your favorite celebritarians were go-go dancing! I saw Ian Freeman, Stephanie Murphy, and M.K. Lords performing in the party. I even danced with Dan, who was shirtless and kilted. His balloon hat fell off during our minuet, but I caught it and put it back on at just the right moment, and we heard applause. Then I saw the fellow who was teaching formal dance lessons all week give a silver-haired Free Stater an adorable dance around the room.

Here is what I saw when I ran in with my video camera on:

I found a random beach ball on the grass and kicked it into the crowd. It went wild. Goodbye, random beach ball. Then I ran through the dance party, danced my butt off with a million strangers – and no I didn’t give a damn what sex they were – and I came out the other end alive and unscathed. I think Liberty is sexy. We were all indidivuals in a crowd experiencing ourselves, and it was nothing more, except for the music and lights.

But eventually, the party must end.

THE MARK EDGE ROAST

But another party is ready to start. And when libertarians can laugh at themselves, you know it will be fun.

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The Mark Edge Roast, sponsored by Adam Kokesh, was a lowkey event, only advertised by fliers a day in advance. The Pavilion was mostly closed off so that only those who knew about it would show up, but we found a few seats in the front row, and the room was packed. If you don’t know who Mark Edge is, he is the co-host of Free Talk Live, which is probably the most popular libertarian talk radio show in the world. He’s been walking around PorcFest in a kilt and a crown all week. And he is a FSP legend.

Tonight, his costume included a glow-in-the-dark sword and side-armor. At the Roast, he sat up on a throne, surrounded by firewood, with a flank to his left of celebritarians ready to poke marshmallows into the fire. Murdoch Pizgotti introduced Adam Kokesh, who set the table for Julia Tourianski, Joby Weeks, Brett Veinotte, Darryl W. Perry, Lauren Rumpler, and Carla Gericke. Of course, at a roast, everyone makes fun of each other, so I knew it’d be a fun time for everyone.

Kokesh opened the night with a zinger. “Join the greatest civil disobedience team in the world in New Hampshire! The greatest minds are in Keene…..putting quarters in parking meters and drawing on streets with chalk.” Ha! Well, at least we try, man. The midnight crowd whooped it up.

On the topic of polyamory, he had one word. “Wrong.” he said, and he pointed at someone. Then he pointed at everyone, one at a time. “Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.” Ha! “Wronggggg.”

Julia Tourianski asked the libertarian men in the room, “Have you ever tried looking a woman directly in the eyes?” Talk about zingers.

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Then it was Brett Veinotte’s turn. His comedy style is sometimes dead serious. He mentioned that Walter Block defends eating babies, and that Jeffrey Tucker thinks the Nazis “look fabulous” in a manner that had everyone wondering how truthful he was…before he admitted “I made all of that up this afternoon.”

Did you know that 94% of libertarians are white? Since FSP president Carla Gericke is from South Africa, that instantly makes 98% of libertarians white. “That’s an apartheid joke,” Brett said.

Then Joby Weeks got up and instantly, he had Ernest Hancock on stage, and the two of them were “selling” Brett, who is “known” for always being single. They “auctioned” him for at least one bitcoin to some guy in the audience. Poor Brett.

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Darryl Perry was clever enough to dress up as Mark, in a skirt and crown, and he referred to Ian Freeman as Peter Pan. (Due to laughter, liquor, darkness, and the sake of keeping this blogpost PG-13, I’ll let your imagination fill in the rest of that night.)

oh, I got my free hug.

oh, I got my free hug.

 

My night had just begun, but you had to be there, man….

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I got a copy or two of Kokeshs new book to give away, too…

BRETT VEINOTTE’S TALK

I woke up just in time to make some eggs and go see Brett Veinotte hold an open Q&A on home education. Someone, in a crown, got up to ask Brett a serious question, and Brett announced to the crowd: “Mark Edge…no wait, KING Mark Edge…That’s your name now.”

On a serious note, Brett and his audience discussed how to talk about home schooling “without sounding like a lunatic.”

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At the second grade level, what does a student need to know? “He can read. He can write. He can add. He can subtract. He can multiply. He can divide.” Everything else, he said, is UN-DOING state schooling things. You have to undo, “He can conform. He can obey.” Then from there, anything can happen.

The important aspect of selling the “home school” vibe is to sell the positive. Don’t tell people you “home school” your child. Just tell them the positive things your child does. Is he learning how to code? How to start a business? Tell them that. Your child isn’t being “home schooled” and he isn’t being “home educated.” He is learning for himself, while at home, perhaps. It’s really a matter of paradigm. Let’s shift it.

JULIE BOROWSKI’S TALK

Julie Borowski gets up on the stage with a t-shirt that reads “I Can Haz LIBERTY?” and there’s a cat face. Seriously, did she get 3-D printed out of a cute machine? She immediately mentioned how she had tweeted about the recent supreme court decision about gay marriage – “I was getting hate from all sides and I loved it.”

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Borowski regularly gets 100,000 views for her youtube videos, so when she gave some great advice for getting out of the libertarian echo chamber and communicating with other people of different mindsets, I paid attention. Many libertarians “often argue about petty things that nobody cares about.” She suggests we do the following, instead:

“Submit articles to non-libertarian sources.” Media outlets just want money — that means hits & traffic. If you can provide those things, they are not as close-minded as you think.

“Be a real person. … Humanize yourself.” People relate to other people, not libertarian robots. Have fun and be silly sometimes, as well.

“Lose your arrogance.” Stop pretending you’re a badass anarchist and just listen to people. People like to talk, just like you, libertarian-stereotype-guy.

“Call out your own side!” I loved this one, but I hoped most people would actually hear her real message. She doesn’t mean in-fight. She means that you earn cred for being HONEST within your own circle. Other people will recognize that and take you more seriously.

“Write and speak normally.” People actually want to read things that they understand and are simple.

“Agree with people’s intentions.” Other people want to learn, just like you. Find things to agree with instead of argue over. Disagreements with each other rarely lead to friendship or mutual understanding.

Borowski rounded it out with advice on how important it is not to label yourself, and why you should embrace the haters. As for the nasty comments, “I’ve heard all of them before.” It’s actually a good thing if you get haters on your blog/site/etc. “If you get haters, you’re actually reaching out to people.” The “likes” are people who agree with you. The comments are the people who don’t, the ones you’re trying to reach.

CAN’T FEST

I went out into the field for the group photo, but didn’t see my friends. I saw a drone, though. It was cool, because it was clearly a friendly drone. My friends were down across the street – across a public road!!!!!! – in a parking area, hanging out with Chris Cantwell. He’s been banned from PorcFest for whatever reason. I don’t read his site, but I’ve met him before and I like him.

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I raced across that horrible government road. I seriously thought I was some sort of anarchist Frogger the entire time. When I got over, there were people hanging out and talking to Cantwell. He was handing out PBRs and everyone was bantering. Some people wandered into the tall grass and flowers – I’m not entirely sure why. As Cantwell handed out beers, his radio went off. Someone from within PorcFest was warning him that there was a drone and please don’t shoot it, because it was privately owned. Cantwell responded that he couldn’t make any promises, but thanks for the heads up. Meanwhile, we had some fun and shook hands and I admired his realism. He took the theory of the FSP’s PorcFest and lived it across the street, on government grounds. It has been called “Can’t Fest,” because he “can’t” go into PorcFest, and his name is Cantwell. It’ll be interesting to see what happens in the future if this becomes a “thing.”

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PEACE & LOVE

I admired the vibe down on the field in the afternoon. I felt like everyone here was a friend, we could all say hi and smile with each other. There were hula-hooping girls, people throwing footballs and frisbees, a pig roast sponsored by a farm owned by a Free Stater. I even saw the libertarian dog playing with his ball. Jordan Page rocked out on his acoustic guitar to a crowd of well over 50 people, most of whom knew his lyrics.

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My girlfriend Kristin couldn’t attend PorcFest during the week, but she managed to come hang out on Saturday night for the last bonfire. It was the first time she had met a lot of my libertarian friends, and it won’t be the last! We decided to adventure and find the bitcoin vending machine.

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Yes, this is an actual vending machine that accepts bitcoin. It was stocked with silver, marijuna tests, bullets, buttons, shiny badges, pregancy tests, and kind bars. I heard a rumor it was also stocked with dime bags…. Unfortunately my phone wouldn’t read the QR code. Neither would hers. We spent a good ten minutes playing with it, until the owner of the machine noticed and joined us. It had something to do with my bitcoin wallet, which was technically a website, not an app. It was too bad, cos I wanted to buy some bullets from a vending machine with bitcoin. But I learned my lesson. It’s time to get a better wallet! What an amazing idea, though! A bitcoin vending machine! It also functions as a bitcoin ATM. This might be the future, entrepeneurs! Check it out!

Meanwhile Kristin fit right in. She got along with Adam and Dan, could crack jokes with them, we all hung by the campsite. She photobombed a pic of Luke Radkowski lighting a sparkler, which I thought was hilarious. She wondered why I kept wanting to dance (well there was dance music playing!).

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When Rebecca and Darryl ran by, I thought I was just saying hi, but little did I know I’d be gettin’ some “colors.” The glowsticks they were waving had some sort of paint-stuff on it. They whacked me good, but unfortunately the camera didn’t translate. My shirt glowed in the dark for ten minutes after that consensual abuse. This was a nice way to end PorcFest, though. Just a relaxing, fun friends-only sort-of night, getting whacked with glowsticks.

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The next morning we all met in Hanover, New Hampshire to post-PorcFest brunch. So much food! Then we took one last buddies photo, before setting off on our own. I heard Dan was adventuring down to the Keene Activist Center for an after party, so good luck my friend! Until next time!

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Adam, Dan, and yours truly…

Meanwhile, I’ve been home for a day and man, do I not miss home. The lights are too bright and the customer service is terrible. I saw a cop and booooooooo’ed.

The important lesson I took home PorcFest? LIVE YOUR LIBERTY. Sometimes living liberty is a heck of a lot more enlightening (and fun!) than reading or writing about it.

I’ve just been free for a week. It’ll be hard to fade back into statist life. Or will I?